DEAR ABBY: I just lately went to a bar with buddies. I used to be assigned as a driver as a result of I do not drink anymore.
I had a consuming downside, however I used to be sober for nearly seven years. The general public I discuss to assist my sobriety, apart from one.
The issue is the girlfriend of a man with whom now we have been buddies for a number of years. She retains teasing me for not consuming. She thinks it is all in my head and stated it to my face.
I normally ignore her, however this night, when it was her flip to purchase a glass, she set the glass down in entrance of me with a smirk. I drank common Coca-Cola and thought nothing about it. I thanked her and after I took a sip, I might instantly odor the alcohol in it. Abby, she informed the bartender so as to add rum to my Coke.
I loudly confronted her in entrance of our buddies and she or he known as me a celebration animal. She then introduced that it was all in my head and informed me to settle down. I took the drink, splashed it in her face and ran out.
Now my buddies are mad at me for making a scene and embarrassing her.
I admit that I misplaced my mood, however I really feel that she was utterly mistaken. I attempted to speak to them about how I really feel about her ignoring my sobriety, but it surely stays mute. Is there a method to repair this?
— SOBER IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SOBER: Everybody on this crowd is aware of you’ve a consuming downside. Your pals ought to have intervened to cease this lady’s bullying when it first began. The truth that she really stole a robust drink for you was very harmful, and I am glad that you just uncovered the deception.
She deserved the backlash she received for attempting to sabotage you.
“Repair” this by chatting with different members of the group with out this pair, or discover new buddies.
PS The truth that this lady has such an issue together with your abstaining from alcohol signifies to me that she has actual issues of her personal.
DEAR ABBY: I’m childless – in opposition to my will – and I’ve a tough time with this subject.
I used to be married for 14 years and divorced at 39. I felt so damage and betrayed that I might barely perform, not to mention attempt to plan for a future and a household. Evidently, the household I hoped for by no means confirmed up. My brothers and sisters haven’t got youngsters both.
I do not really feel like I’ve an actual “household” and when the vacations, birthdays, and Mom’s Day come round, it provides to my stress and despair. It additionally does not assist after I meet new individuals who all the time must take care of the difficulty of kids.
How would you advise somebody of their early 60s how you can fill this large void in my life and/or heal the heartache that appears to worsen because the years go by?
— NOT OPTIONAL IN THE SOUTH
DEAR NOT BY CHOICE: One of many surest methods to beat the blues is to do one thing for another person.
Throughout the holidays, volunteer to assist households who’re much less lucky financially than you. Contact a church or orphanage, ask what among the youngsters might have, and convey presents. This may give you much less time to consider what you do not have and ease the ache in your coronary heart.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.